TRYing to uplode

I have been trying to upload myself for over a month. Everyoneslse has super videos of themselves and their pets and I want to make one too. My dad went tp his friend a computer guy and odered a camera over a month ago after waiting a month I got fed up with waiting and went to the axis of evil Wal-mart. Where I bought a $250 camera a dn the guy showed me I could upload videos on the internet, a friend of mine helped me set up the camera and I recorded my cow-bones, my pets, myself we followed the directions on the cd-rom and yet no video. Went back to walmart, asked them what to do they gave more instructions still no video. broke glass had a temper tantrum. went to the computer people today and they said there might be something wrong with my computer let them try on their computer. Thing came back nothing wrong with camera , nothing wrong with computer it just can't do live feed which is the only reason why I bought it. So it is off to walmart to try to get my money back. All I want to do is fucking upload is that so wrong? I want to put myself on YouTube so I can be seen by all the world. I don't have any friends in the real world so I want some in the artificial one. I want people to pay attention to me and like me. DAMNIT If anyone reads this or gives a fuck please leave a comment

Kate's Poem

Fire spin and eagle soar
the skull that hangs and watches me
oak leaves, bones and trees
I feel that I am loved but noone dares touch me
I try to fit here and there
but I don't fit anywhereI
The only true pure love I have is that of the land that talks to me

Kate's Poem in my head

I need to quiet the voices in my head
Somany other people
all telling me different things and how to behave
act this way, act that way,
wow you're inappropriate
I just smile and laugh
and defend myself with flippant responses
but when I come home
I cry and rage and break things
with the only things to comfort me
are four legged and furry or two legged and feathered
the world seeems much nicer with a black cat curled up on my lchest
amd the purrs seem to say that I am loved




curled up on my lap

Kate's Poem

the crystal ballI hold in my hands
from a thousand crushed quartz crystals
with a pinch of cinnabar dust
I can see worlds unfold
the crystal ball is smooth and round
inside the ball a thousand of little bubbles
white clouds, pink clouds, frozen in place but always seem to be moving
within this crystal ball of unclear focus I can see clearly

Kate's Poem Turquoise

heart shaped turquoise earrings in my ear
turquoise for love, protection, friendship, bring
one faces in front one behind within the circle enlightenment entwined
buy the necklace, break the beads
pour the beads in the chalice with the salt water entwined
walk a clockwise circle around your house
and with your hands pour the turquoise all around your house
s within that circle know you are safe
for only love may enter here


orange,yellow,green, blue black
with sparkling eyes cute beak and talons
sit on shoulder and squawk

Kate's Poem Bad Day and the MIGRAINE

Mind exploding pressure built up behind my eyes
Burst into pain so bad I cannot see
Feelings in my guts seem to be bursting through my esophagus and coiming through my mouth
People voices ringing in my ears so loud I cannot hear
Turn off the lights and sink into the cold tile floor
evermore


Pretty bird on my lap
Waving and saying hi and tearing kleenex
Walking on the floor, biting


So many people talking
Tired of their irritating voices like too many bees buzzing
Ignorance and cruel word seem to reign here
The cruel mockery tells me to give up my hopes the spark inside me that keeps me going
and not let my light shine so bright
As a resort of self-protectionI tell myself I'm better than you, I'm smarter than you, I know more than you
But I know that kind of thinking can only lead to pain and sorrow
I just can't seem to find my way out
And they would have me blot out the light of the sun and moon and stars that reside within my soul and within all of us

Kate's Poem

Warm day, light breeze
On the breeze comes the sweet scent of peach blossom
little bees work with fervor on the delicate flowers
Which carry one of the sweetest of scents
their tiny legs coated with pollen
This sight makes me smile

White dresses blow in the summer wind
ladies standing beneath tall powerful leafy green oaks
with parasols to protect them from the sun
while gentlemen play croquet